


withered roses and white camellias

by matchaamochii



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Depression, Huge trigger warning, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Language of Flowers, Like, M/M, Sugawara Koushi is a Mess, Suicidal Thoughts, no beta we die like daichi, really extreme angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:07:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26306065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/matchaamochii/pseuds/matchaamochii
Summary: “I’m alright, I stepped in glass on the way to school, though.” Useless lies.What is a word? What is a meaning? What is a withered rose?“Yamaguchi, what is a withered rose?” Tadashi’s eyebrows furrowed.-TRIGGER WARNING. PLEASE READ TAGS.
Relationships: Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Kudos: 24





	withered roses and white camellias

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE READ THE TAGS. THIS IS NOT A LIGHT HEARTED WORK.  
> anyway wanted to write some angst. I hc the Suga had a hard life at home and that's why he wants to be more like a parental figure to others so this happened.
> 
> Comments are appreciated, and this has no beta (we die like daichi) so uh if you find mistakes please tell me!!,, ok ok enjoy i guess?

_ Withered roses and blue stars _ , as Tadashi explained to Kei.

What does that mean? He doesn’t understand. He doesn’t understand anything.  _ The white flower on his desk.  _

_ “Oh,” _ he realized the meaning and chuckled.  _ How peculiar! I wonder who left that there? I wonder who wants me dead? _

He remembers Daichi giving him a white camellia, it was a beautiful flower.  _ You’re adorable _ , as the flower meant. But seeing this white flower on his desk had a new meaning. _How peculiar._

He picked fresh butterfly weed. He left it on Daichi’s desk. _Let me go_ , as the flower meant. Maybe if he asked Tadashi or Kei what withered roses and blue stars are, he would understand. 

The name Sugawara was sickening. _Is_ sickening. What sick person would call him that?  _ I’m not Sugawara, I’m Koushi. _

He told them to call him Suga instead.

Why would he want to be related to such a tainted name? Sometimes he wondered why the police were at his door. Other times he was asleep in his closet. In his room, in other words.

“I’m alright, I stepped in glass on the way to school, though.” _Useless lies._

_ What is a word? What is a meaning? What is a withered rose? _

“Yamaguchi, what is a withered rose?” Tadashi’s eyebrows furrowed.

“A dead rose?” He had replied

“I don't get it, what does it mean?” 

“Broken love, I think,” Tadashi replied in a whisper.

“Why do you like withered roses? Are you a withered rose?” Tadashi’s eyes widened, he started crying and ran.

“I’m sorry!” Koushi cried out as Tadashi ran.  _ I still don’t understand. _

_ Tadashi is a withered rose, is his heart broken? My heart is broken. Koushi’s heart is broken. _

_ “I’m not Sugawara!” _ He found himself screaming during practice, through tears and hiccups.

He woke up in the hospital. Then home. He stepped in the broken glass. His parents were angry, he hadn’t made them breakfast. Koushi cursed as he pulled out the glass. CPS came. They said they would take ‘Young Sugawara’ away. But Koushi doesn’t know who that is. He only knows Suga, or Koushi. He said he was okay, he said his parents love him.

_ “He’s so in his head!” _

_ “I think he’s insane…” _

_ “He never pays attention in class, and I heard it’s the same at volleyball practice!” _

_ “What a wimp.” _

_ “Wasn’t he the social one?” _

_ “He wanted everyone to feel good.” _

_ “What a joke!” _

_ “No wonder he got another white flower on his desk!” _

The next day, Koushi put a white flower on his own desk. Maybe one day, the pain would stop. Until then, he is a withered rose, like Tadashi.


End file.
